Archive for June, 2009

Sometimes it Takes a Village – Part 2

Thursday, June 25th, 2009

In Sometimes It Takes a Village – Part 1, I discussed why it’s so helpful to reach out and look for support as you embark on your mind-body healing journey.  I introduced the idea of the Healing Team.  This week, I’d like to explore this further.  Who do you want on your Healing Team?  Here are my Top Ten Faves to consider for your Healing Team (in random order).  See what feels right to you, use them consecutively or in conjunction, pick and choose – THERE ARE NO RULES, because you must find the ideal combination for you.  This may entail a little exploration.  And of course – maybe you truly don’t need any of them.  Maybe you are doing great on your own.  There really are no rules!

  • Breathwork 1 – Basic diaphragmatic breathing taught by a yoga instructor or voice instructor.  (One-on-one instruction is best.)  I would recommend this to every single person.  I think it is the most important thing you can learn – and this is saying a lot, because I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE coaching.
  • Breathwork  2 – Someone who works with breath to facilitate emotional release.  You might need this if, for example, you worked with a therapist or coach and did basic breath-work, read about mind-body approaches such as Sarno’s, even took a program like Dr. Schubiner’s, and still have persistent pain.  In other words, don’t blame yourself, don’t blame the programs, information, or humans.  You just might need to release some serious suppressed emotion that can be regarded as basically stuck energy in your body.  (Remember, more coming in future posts.) (My favorite breathwork resource is www.barrattbreathworks.com.)
  • Other body-based emotional release techniques, such as EMDR, EFT, or bioenergetic psychotherapy if you don’t have a breath-work specialist in your area.
  • Traditional Western psychotherapy – If you have past traumas that you have yet to share with anyone, and if you hate talking about feelings or your personal inner life, you may need to start here.
  • Energy healing – such as acupuncture, Healing Touch, or bioenergetic healing.  This comes in as a close second behind coaching and breath-work in my book.  It rocks.  No other way to say it.  It will speed up everything else you’re doing.
  • Nutritional guidance of the non-scary kind (someone who can teach you balanced nutrition rather than an overly limited/restrictive diet).  It’s always helpful to support your body in its healing process.  This also means knowing that food alone may not be enough to cure you, and may not be the root cause of your issue.  You can just aid yourself and speed things up by giving your body what it needs.  If you’re prone to thinking your diet causes your pain, you might want to hold off on this one.
  • A spiritual guide/teacher – Nothing is more reassuring than a spiritual connection.  My own personal journey to health was a spiritual unfolding within myself.  It may not be the norm to talk about this, or to even talk about its importance in a healing process, but I am not going to hold back anything from you.  I think it’s hugely important.  I will be sharing more about this in the future.  If you don’t work with someone in person, reading spiritual resources that feel right to you can be immensely comforting.  Follow your inner guidance.
  • Yoga, t’ai chi, qigong, stretching, massage, and physical therapy – These can all have their place in your healing process – if you find instructors who know what they’re doing and therapists who are supportive.  While these may not heal you alone, they can be immensely effective in moving and releasing emotion and energy.  It can be easy to focus too much on the physical aspect of this kind of work and not enough on the emotional/mental release it stimulates, so be careful.  Make this a compliment, not the main focus.  As long as you’re not hanging all your hope on these things, you’ll find them fantastic supportive pieces of the puzzle – IF YOU ENJOY THEM.  Doing something you don’t like or that doesn’t feel right to you is never helpful.
  • A physician you trust – I am a little bossy when it comes to my health, so I like a physician who will listen to me, take me seriously, and be willing to look beyond Western medicine and to the outer reaches of Western medicine.  Yes, I did find one!  I see him about once a year for a pap smear, but I like knowing I can trust him.  Mind-body healing does not mean throwing out Western medicine.  It’s about integration.
  • Last but not least: COACHING! Yes, yes, I know I’m biased.  Seriously, though, NOTHING has helped me more than coaching.  It is the fastest way to relax your body, surprisingly enough, because it helps release thoughts and emotions that are causing the fight or flight response within your body.  And I didn’t even know about it when I was struggling through my initial healing process!  So you get to benefit from my experience, here!  Mind body (especially Martha Beck style) coaching is unique, straightforward, and immensely freeing.   As a spoke in the wheel for my clients, I also serve, due to my personal experience, as a sort of Mind-Body CEO, helping them see what works for them, what they can do for themselves, and how they can listen to their own inner guidance both to build their Healing Team and to learn to coach themselves.  I offer my own experience and knowledge as a guide and jumping-off point.  (In upcoming posts – much more about my personal application of coaching in my current life, so that you can see it in action and understand how it helps.)  If you integrate coaching with some of the traditional Sarno work, you get a hugely powerful mix.  If you put it together with body-based activities like yoga, breathing, and energy work, you’d have to work hard to stay in pain or ill!

If you’re struggling with mind-body healing and improvement is not happening for you, there’s no reason to give up, throw in the towel, or decide it’s a hoax.  I want you to know that nothing is wrong with you, you’re not doing anything wrong, and whatever you’ve tried probably isn’t wrong either.  It’s just a personalized, sometimes complicated process.  Breathe deeply, allow yourself some compassion, don’t be in a big rush, and explore.  Put together a Healing Team that works for you.  If you need only one person, great.  If you need ten people, great.  (If you read my blog regularly, I consider myself to be an honorary member of your Team, because it’s fun to think of you and your healing process (even if I don’t know you personally)!  Don’t forget to join my email list because there’s SO MUCH COMING (really soon!) that you might find helpful, and I always tell my email list first about exciting stuff.)

So what do I do now, in my life?  Who’s on my current Health Team?  Here’s my weekly practice: meditation, breath-work, mindfulness, journaling, self-coaching, yoga, visualization, reading, enough sleep, and PLAY.  I don’t do hours of everything – sometimes it’s just minutes here and there, depending on the day.  But I do these things because I love them and because they bring me peace, happiness, and health.  There is no sense of “should.”  I will be writing more about the lifestyle of mind-body health, so that you can learn from my “mistakes” and personal life lessons.

My Health Team consists of: my physician, my coach buddies, my energy healer (a nurse who uses Healing Touch), my yoga instructor (not for “fixing” my body, but because yoga enhances my mind-body-spirit connection and brings up emotions to be processed), my nutritionist (don’t use her as much anymore, but pop in and out here and there), and a great massage therapist (but that is not directed toward pain, it’s because I love getting massaged more than anything – I am a massage addict), and, last but not least – ME.

So anytime something is amiss within my mental/emotional world, I coach myself first.  Then I reach out to my support system and work with whomever is appropriate.  I get coached and take yoga classes weekly, and I consistently book energy healing appointments.  These three things, for me, are preventative, joyful medicine.  They are joy-enhancers.  When I want to treat myself, I get a massage.  The main point is, though, that when I think of my Health Team, I smile.  They all have great compassionate, kind personalities and positive energy.  So yes, sometimes it takes a village, but the village is there for you, waiting to help you return to health.

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Posted in Adrenal Fatigue, Chronic Pain, Interstitial Cystitis, Life Coaching, Martha Beck, Mind Body Healing, Stress Relief, Vulvar Pain, Vulvar Vestibulitis Syndrome, Vulvodynia, Vulvodynia Support | 4 Comments »

Sometimes it Takes a Village – Part 1

Thursday, June 18th, 2009

Today, I want to tell you more about my own personal mind-body healing journey, because I’d like to encourage you to find a great Healing Team to support your mind-body process.  My journey was not a straightforward climb to health at all.  Like most of you, I tried everything under the sun while I was in the desperation phase.  I did the yeast-cleansing diet with yeast-eradicating supplements, I did the IC diet and IC supplements, I did the no-oxalate diet, I took a variety of medications, saw a variety of doctors, and I looked all over the internet for the magic cure.  It was a time of fear, and panic, because nothing was helping.  Also, I think the only food left for me to eat was…water.  Which doesn’t have high nutritional value.

Once I decided to try the mind-body approach, I knew I was on the right track because magical things started happening.  I was led to Kathleen Barratt of Barratt Breathworks, where I first learned deep, diaphragmatic breathing techniques.  The sheer amount of deep breathing I did turned off my fight or flight response enough to drop me out of the fear/panic mode and allow me to settle into my mind-body healing process without desperation.  So that was step one.

Step two was to work with a therapist, (didn’t know about coaching at that point, otherwise I would have done that, too!) who helped me sort through my mental life, and even referred me to another therapist to work on past trauma.  (I plan to discuss trauma more in later posts – we all experience some, but some of us have experienced A LOT.  I am of the second category.)

Step three was to integrate the emotional work from therapy into my breathing sessions, because breath-work is a fantastic way to release suppressed emotion, if you’re working with somebody who knows what they’re doing.  Kathleen also works with energy healing, which is extremely powerful, and she was an important spiritual guide for me.  I added in acupuncture, because that also works with energy (chi).  I studied meditation.  (More on emotions, energy healing, meditation, and spirituality in later posts.)  I probably sound all organized with these steps, but I wasn’t.  I was just following my intuition.

I also worked with a nutritionist to support my body with healthy food, and to help me utilize supportive supplementation rather than random, advertised supplementation that promises to cure.  I implemented sound-healing therapy to help me sleep at night, and because as a musician, I was drawn to it.  I did guided imagery and art.  I went to physical therapy and did yoga, which I will discuss more in future posts as well.  I reached probably 85% health through this combination of approaches.

While I was engaged in this work with these different people, I was also reading about mind-body healing on my own.  I discovered the work of Dr. John Sarno.  It was at this point that I realized I could work with my mind to basically get out of the way of the healing process and let it happen.  (MUCH more on this to come.)  It was perfect that I read Sarno’s book when I did, because my husband and I were moving, away from my Healing Team.  I knew I was ready to let most of them go, and I knew I could replace the necessary or desired ones eventually, but this gave me a new piece in the puzzle.

When I read Sarno’s work, he discussed the idea of emotional suppression/repression, which I had already addressed through my breath-work, energy work, and therapy combination.  I already knew that piece of the puzzle.  I just needed some ways to get my mind on my side, to stop doubting, start believing, and stop thinking scary thoughts.  While it took more research and exploration to make this happen (and now, as a coach, I have even stronger tools), Sarno was the one who made me see and begin to understand.  For some people, just reading Sarno does not help, because they have no idea how to implement what he is saying, and they have no idea how to effectively release suppressed emotion.  Or, they don’t agree with the full approach. (You guessed it – more on that in later posts as well.)

So, as you can see, mind-body healing isn’t just a one-man job. If you have been working on mind-body healing and are feeling lost, think it doesn’t work, or can’t seem to get results, there may be a couple reasons.

1)    You need a Healing Team.  No man is an island.  We all learn from each other.  No one person, therapist, healer, whatever knows it all.  Kathleen always said she is a spoke in the wheel.  It takes immense knowledge and in-depth training in just one area of mind-body healing to be able to effectively work with others.  Don’t expect one-stop shopping for pain relief.  Any approach that promises to be the cure, or bring pain relief singlehandedly gives me an immediate “shackles on” feeling.  Not to say that it doesn’t have something to offer, because it probably does – sometimes invaluable help.  But I know one thing for sure – nobody knows Everything.  And they don’t know you, as an individual.  We are all unique beings with unique past histories, unique habits for dealing with stress, and unique bodies.  The danger then becomes that you will try the program, read the book, and not end up with absolute pain relief.  Then, you might assume that you can’t do it, or that it doesn’t work, when really you might just need a little more help, direction, or guidance, because it’s SO easy to get tripped up by your own thoughts.  So it’s important to try a combination of modalities you’re drawn to and explore different resources.  For instance, I work with clients who have gone through Dr. Schubiner’s program, find it really helpful, but also need help with negative thinking, so are now working with me.  Many of my clients are seeing a therapist concurrently to help with past trauma.  One client is even lucky enough to live near Kathleen, so is doing the same breath-work I did while also being coached.  Don’t take on the responsibility of “healing yourself” (I see it as getting out of the way so the healing can happen naturally) all alone, because it’s ten times harder.  Reach out in different directions and explore.

2)    You might not be implementing mind-body healing tools effectively, for a multitude of reasons.  For instance, if you are constantly getting sucked into doubt regarding mind-body healing, that will pull you off-track and slow you down immensely.  (This is where feedback from others is invaluable – people working with me, for example, have a place to share doubt and release it, and people in Dr. Schubiner’s program can re-read the sections dealing with doubt.)  Or, maybe you have a lot of emotional work that needs to be done, and you aren’t working with somebody who can help with this, such as a therapist or body-based emotional release practitioner (such as someone trained in breath-work or other modalities such as EMDR).  Maybe you have worked on emotional release, but still are having trouble putting together a mind-body plan for yourself that really works (that is what I do with my clients as well).  Maybe you are having trouble really working with negative thinking on your own.  Sometimes this can be difficult, because you are looking through the distortion of your own negative thinking, trying to change it.  Since this is my area of expertise, I see it often with clients – it’s not always a quick and easy process.  Besides, just the fact that you can’t step outside of yourself makes it harder.  I coach myself, of course, but always trade coaching with fellow coaches to get an outside viewpoint.

And, mind-body healing is not an easy thing to learn from a book.  If you’re putting the pressure on yourself to learn it and do it alone, that’s just one more stress on yourself.  It’s great to learn, but give yourself a guide, a teacher, someone to lead the way.   I still stay in contact with Kathleen.  I learn from Martha Beck and other coaches.  I still seek out energy healing, because I love it, and I learn more about myself every time I go.  I reach out to other people dealing with mind-body healing and bring their wisdom and knowledge to this blog, for you, and to further my own understanding.  The teachers I love are the ones who remain students forever, and I plan to be a student of mind-body healing until the day I die.  I don’t know it all, but I’m always willing to learn more.

Part Two coming soon…

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Posted in Adrenal Fatigue, Chronic Pain, Interstitial Cystitis, Life Coaching, Martha Beck, Mind Body Healing, Stress Relief, Vulvar Pain, Vulvar Vestibulitis Syndrome, Vulvodynia, Vulvodynia Support | 3 Comments »

June – What I'm Reading

Thursday, June 11th, 2009

After my blogging break, I find myself very inspired to talk to all of you again!  I’ve decided to add a new type of post that will come around monthly.  It’s called “What I’m Reading.”  I love to read, and so do my clients, it seems!  It’s so great to have new resources to help this whole mind-body concept stick in your mind, because we have all grown up with the current medical model.  This model says pain means something isn’t working properly in your body and it needs to be fixed – much like you would view your car if it started making funny noises and spewing fumes.  It’s looking at the body as if it were a machine.

Which it is not.

The body is not just the body.  It cannot be separated from the mind, the emotions, and the soul.  So, even though we long for linear, logical connections, they just aren’t always there.  Sometimes, the body hurts because we aren’t feeling our emotions.  Sometimes the body hurts because we aren’t listening to our true selves.

This can be hard to conceptualize at first, but the great news is that science can indeed explain much of these processes.  Which is where the resources come in – I LOVE it when doctors write about the mind-body connection, because they can speak to our linear, logical selves and help us believe in something that seems “out there” or woo-woo.  I love any book about the mind-body connection, pretty much, and this month I’m reading a great one.

This month’s book is a short little book called Breathe Smart, The Secret to Happiness, Health, and Long Life by Aaron Hoopes.  I love this little book for many reasons.  First, it’s little!  It’s short!  It cuts to the chase and gives you great information about breathing and its connection to health.  Second, it describes a bit of the science behind the connection between breathing and health.  Third, it hammers home the points I am always trying to make with clients about the power of the breath.

It’s so easy to overlook the breath and just dismiss it as another banal, old topic.  Don’t make that mistake!  Investing time and effort to truly understand and applying healthy breathing techniques will take you much further than you can even imagine.  If you’re looking for a short, concise book about breathing, this one is it.  I highly recommend it.  Then, take yourself to a yoga teacher, vocal coach, or breathwork specialist and learn how to take a full, diaphragmatic breath.  Your body, mind, and soul will thank you!

Don’t forget to check out the June telecourses offered in last week’s blog post!

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Posted in Adrenal Fatigue, Chronic Pain, Interstitial Cystitis, Life Coaching, Martha Beck, Mind Body Healing, Stress Relief, Vulvar Pain, Vulvar Vestibulitis Syndrome, Vulvodynia, Vulvodynia Support | No Comments »

Great June Opportunities!

Friday, June 5th, 2009

Hello, everyone!  I’m back to my regular blogging schedule and can’t wait to share the new opportunities coming up this month.  Here’s the skinny:

TWO NEW TELECOURSES! These are highly pertinent to your mind-body healing process.  When I was invited by Martha Beck Master Coach Brooke Castillo to give this month’s Self Coaching 101 Call, I wanted to create a call that would apply to you, my fellow mind-body family.  So, I decided to create a class all about….drumroll…PERFECTIONISM!

Not that any of you need help with that, right?  :-)

Next, I’m unveiling the final secret to success with a mind-body approach in the Success Secrets – Part Two telecourse.  You won’t want to miss this one! However, you can get a great deal by purchasing both telecourses.  It’s buy one, get the other half-off! Purchase the Perfectionism telecourse (link below in the info) and get the Success Secrets telecourse for half price.  It’s a steal!

Here’s all the info about both telecourses:

The Success Secrets – Part Two

Make your mind-body healing process work for you!

Learn the second success secret to utilizing a mind-body approach.

Don’t miss this one!

$25.00 – OR, $12.50 with the purchase of the Perfectionism telecourse.

Tuesday, June 30
4 PT/5 MT/6 CT/7 ET
60 Minutes

Register Now for the Success Secrets Part 2 (only)

Want in on the great deal?  Forward me your electronic receipt/proof of purchase for the Perfectionism course and I will send you a link to the half-price Success Secrets Registration Page!

Self Coaching 101 Coaching Call – Perfectionism

Tuesday, June 16

4 PT/5 MT/6 CT/7 ET

Offered through Martha Beck Master Coach Brooke Castillo’s Self Coaching 101 Coaching Call Program

$45.00 – Register Now and get half off the Success Secrets Part Two Telecourse!

Perfectionism: Are You an Imperfect Perfectionist?

If you’re like many of my clients, you’re pretty sure you’re not a perfectionist.  If you were a perfectionist, you figure, your life would look more…well, perfect!  Your house would be cleaner.   You’d look more put together.  You’d have it all together!  You wouldn’t have the chaos, the stress, and the frustration of things not going the way they should.

What if I told you those very thoughts are actually perfection-thinking?  What if I mentioned that they are actually causing the chaos, the frustration, and the stress?

Perfectionism has nothing to do with your external life and everything to do with your internal life.  Notice yourself being self-critical?  Have trouble forgiving yourself for your “flaws?”  Never feel quite satisfied with yourself?  Manage to turn play into work and then worry about whether you’re doing it right?

You guessed it!  You’re falling for your own imperfect perfectionist thoughts!  Join me for ninety minutes of Self Coaching 101 and apply the model to your perfection thinking.  Imperfectly.  (Do you cringe when you read the word imperfect?  Then this class is for you!)

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Posted in Adrenal Fatigue, Chronic Pain, Interstitial Cystitis, Life Coaching, Martha Beck, Mind Body Healing, Stress Relief, Vulvar Pain, Vulvar Vestibulitis Syndrome, Vulvodynia, Vulvodynia Support | No Comments »